How Mayor Wilkins Lost His Soul
by Shuvcat (c) 1999

Note: This was just for fun, I was in a real silly mood when I did this... :) Written wayy before Sept. 11th, too.

NEW YORK CITY, 1997.

Mayoral candidate Lance Brockwell was left sitting there wailing after his campaign organizer Jaime Buchman had bailed out of his mayoral campaign. "What am I gonna do?!!" he cried. "I'll never win this campaign now! I'd do ANYTHING to be Mayor!!"

KA-BOOM! Suddenly Newman from Seinfeld appeared in a ball of fire, dressed in a red devil suit. "ANYTHING??!" he boomed in a demonic voice. "HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"

Brockwell stared at the rotund newcomer. "Who the heck are you?" he asked.

Newman laughed evilly. "I am the unholiest of unholies!! I am the First Evil! I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!!"

Brockwell blinked, bewildered. "Funny, you don't look like Rudy Guiliani."

Newman sneered. "Mark well, you little man!! I come before you with a great opportunity! I will make your greatest hopes reality. I will make you the Mayor of the center of evil for the entire planet!!" He burst out laughing villainously.

Brockwell didn't look impressed. "Why would I want to be Mayor of Miami?"

Canned laughter sounded from nowhere. The Newman Devil was getting frustrated. "Look here, Brockwell, I've got a quota to fill! I already lost my number one guy in Trinity, South Carolina! I've got a town out in California just begging for sombody to run it into the ground! Think of it, man!! We fake your death, get you blown to bits in a mafia car bomb or something, change your name, I get you to feed the demons in this cute little burg and I get brownie points with the man downstairs!"

Brockwell stood up, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Demons. You know, that's actually funny, the origin of the word 'demon'--"

Newman was about this close to banging his horny head against a brick wall. "Do you wanna be a mayor or not?!" he demanded, waving his trident angrily.

Brockwell considered that. "Who do I have to pay off?" he ventured.

"Just one guy," grinned the Newman devil, flicking his tail.

Brockwell shrugged, giggling. "Oh, well, an immortal soul isn't much help in an election anyway...."

And the rest is history. :-)

The above characters are owned by....um, whoever owns Mad about You and Seinfeld, and of course Joss Whedon....oh, honestly, do you really think the WB will sue me over this????

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